YOUR AGE BY CHOCOLATE MATH
This is pretty neat.

DON'T CHEAT BY SCROLLING DOWN FIRST!

It takes less than a minute....... Work this out as you read..
Be sure you don't read the bottom until you've worked it out!
This is not one of those waste of time things, it's fun.

1. First of all, pick the number of times a week that you would like to
have chocolate. (more than once but less than 10)











2. Multiply this number by 2 (Just to be bold)












3. Add 5. (for Sunday)












4.. Multiply it by 50 I'll wait while you get the
calculator.................












5. If you have already had your birthday this year add 1755.... > >







If you haven't, add 1754 ......










6. Now subtract the four digit year that you were born.












You should have a three digit number .











The first digit of this was your original number (i.e., how many times
you want to have chocolate each week).












The next two numbers are .........












YOUR AGE! (Oh YES, it is!!!!!)





THIS IS THE ONLY YEAR (2005) IT WILL EVER WORK, SO
SPREAD IT AROUND WHILE IT LASTS

OMG! I was finishing cleaning out the fridge today adn I went to dump pickle juice down the toilet. (The sink was kashered already.) The glass fell and broke and left glass and pickles and juice all over the floor. WWhile this happens I start swearing at the top of my lungs all while I'm leaving Ariela a voicemail. Oy vey!

Chag kosher vsameach!

Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Mr. Common Sense. Mr. Sense had been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape.

He will be remembered as having cultivated such value lessons as knowing when to come in out of the rain, why the early bird gets the worm and that life isn't always fair. Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you earn) and reliable parenting strategies (adults, not kids, are in charge).

His health began to rapidly deteriorate when well intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. - Reports of a six-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.

Mr. Sense declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer aspirin to a student; but, could not inform the parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.

Finally, Common Sense lost the will to live as the churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims. Common Sense finally gave up the ghost after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot, she spilled a bit in her lap, and was awarded a huge settlement.

Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust, his wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son, Reason. He is survived by two stepbrothers; My Rights and Ima Whiner.

Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone. If you still remember him, pass this on; if not, join the majority and do nothing.

YU, YME, YANYBODY

YU class of 09 ya baby!

Minutia

On tuesday I went to Monsey to do our Pesach shopping. I love being around Jewish people with a holier than thou attitude. They kept giving me dirty looks because I had on khakis and a colored shirt. I also bought really cheap duffle bags to take to Israel. They're the big round ones that I wanted and they only cost 10 dollars! yay cheap stuff!!

Yesterday I had to have allergy shots. It sucked. They stuck me with 60 needles and I'm still allergic to nothing. Nothing at all. The Doctor told me I'm part of a small percentage of people who exhibit allergy like symptoms without real allergies. Thats right its been medically proven that I'm special! or F**ked up depends on which way you want to look at it.

Today we watched the Incredibles in English class. I realized theres a deeper meaning to that movie. It's all about being your true self no matter what society wants. Who knew a pixar movie could have a moral.

Later-
Ed

19 ways to keep your sanity

1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and pointHair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down.
2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice.
3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, Ask If They Want Frieswith That.
4. Put Your Garbage Can On Your Desk And Label It 'In.'
5. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks. Once Everyone has GottenOver Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch To Espresso.
6. In The Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write 'For Smuggling Diamonds'.
7. Finish All Your sentences with 'In Accordance With The Prophecy'.
8. Don't use any punctuation
9. As Often As Possible, Skip Rather Than Walk.
10. Order a diet water whenever you go out to eat with a serious face.
11. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is 'To Go'.
12. Sing Along At The Opera.
13. Go To A Poetry Recital And Ask Why The Poems Don't Rhyme.
14. Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area And Play tropical SoundsAll Day.
15. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their Party Because You're Not In The Mood. 16. Have Your Co-workers Address You By Your Wrestling Name, RockBottom.
17. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream 'I Won!, I Won!'
18. When Leaving The Zoo, Start Running Towards The Parking lot, Yelling'Run For Your Lives, They're Loose!!'
19. Tell Your Children Over Dinner. 'Due To The Economy, We Are Going ToHave To Let One Of You Go.'

Does anyone think this template is a little feminine?

ITS FREAKIN AMAZING. just when I needed it all the people I love showed up for me. I love u guys!!

I really feel like I should write. THis weekend was amazing. The kids on the shabbaton were great and I think I ocnnected wiht a few.


In other things: I'm really confused about alot of crap. I hate that when you screwup once or have a little too much fun people hold it against you forever. It's probably stupid that I let the same person bother me so much but I do. I also found out alot more about people who I thought were my friends but don't really want to hang out that much. I miss my real friends.

I'm a freaking enius. absolutley the smartest kid around. totally ridiculously off the charts smart!